Anxiety, She’s Strong – My Inner Goddess is Stronger

Anxiety

Anxiety, oh Anxiety, wherefore art thou Anxiety? My inner Goddess is hunting you.

To the outside world I seem to be a strong, confident, put together mom. For the most part all of that is true. I can organize, prioritize, cook, clean, do laundry, go to work, go to the gym, drop off and pick up from preschool, tutor for homework, play dress up and tea party, bath time and bedtime story read, all in one day. Nothing special, any other mom can do all of this in a single day. The difference is, I go through my day fighting the inner demon anxiety, and she’s strong.

She sits in the back ground taunting me. Telling me it can’t be done, why get out of bed. When I do get things done she sneers at me, with a side long glance, whispering that it’s not quite good enough. When I go out in public she squeezes me from the core, making it hard to breath or make small talk with people. She insinuates that people are staring, judging. She encourages doubt. She rally’s her sister depression.

Anxiety is a trouble maker and I despise her.

My inner Goddess fights back. She is my cheer leader, letting me know I’m doing all right. She stands strong and yells back that anxiety has no place here. I listen close to her, she tells me to be still, God is with me, I will be fine. Anxiety cowers when my Goddess speaks.

I avoid large crowds. I need a minimum of an arm’s length of space between me and the person I’m talking to. I take deep breaths. I press one of my fingers and thumb together, often, to dispel the crushing feelings when anxiety sets in. I work out to exert the energy that would otherwise be left for anxiety to snatch like a thief. I take a small pill, that puts a good size barrier up, making it harder for anxiety to reach me.

Anxiety does not make me introverted or anti-social. I love people and I love to talk. Anxiety just makes it harder to be “normal” when others are around. Harder to appear bubbly and not so brash. Anxiety makes it difficult to just be me.

My inner Goddess allows me to punch anxiety in the face. My Goddess reminds me that it’s OK to not always be normal. I love my inner Goddess.

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About Little Mom BIG World

I am a mother of 2, business owner and all around juggler of the daily chaos of life. DISCLAIMER: I am an expert on nothing, I'm just a mom here to blog about real life. If you share the same opinions and likes, WONDERFUL we will be great blogger friends! However if you do not share the same opinions I will like you as well as long as you are respectful in your differing opinions :) ALSO I am a mom so I reference motherhood in my blog, if you are a single dad or stay at home dad just replace MOM with DAD while you read and it all applies to you as well!
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7 Responses to Anxiety, She’s Strong – My Inner Goddess is Stronger

  1. MikeW says:

    Strong post. You have a lot going on. Maybe your midbrain interprets the overall load as a threat and applies fight-or-flight feelings to the mix. Punching anxiety in the face sounds like a “fight” response. So you’re a fighter!

    Probably the fight-or-flight feelings are too strong for any one of your situations, roles or responsibilities. But they’re probably triggered by your overall life demands plus goals right now. Just guessing by what you wrote. Others worthy of your trust who know you best may give you more insight there.

    Feeling anxiety may be your brain’s way of calling on you to take some action to simplify your life by partnering up with trusted others, seeking wise counsel, sharing responsibilities, cutting some extra items out of your life, and focusing on what’s most important.

    What do you think?

    • Wise words my fellow blogger.
      Anxiety annoys me most days, stays silent some….she’s hard to beat when there’s so much always going on. If only life could be more simple…maybe when the chores are done and the kids are in college 🙂

      Thanks for the comments

      • MikeW says:

        Awesome undertaking, raising children and having high standards raised for them in higher ed and the doors that opens. Kudos to you. On simplicity, keep looking. I’m betting you find some ingenious ways. Any good ideas you come up with, will look forward to reading if you decide to publish them.

  2. The more power you give your inner Goddess, the stronger she’ll get. You go girl!! I worry all the time too, and I worry about the fact that I’ve passed that worry-gene on to my daughter (no, the irony of that is not lost on me) so I get where you’re coming from.

    • Thanks for commenting! I worry sometimes about passing it on too….I try my best to hide it from the kids but I also talk to them about it so they know if they sense or see it in me it’s not because of them.

  3. I greatly appreciate your support, and have nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award! I look forward to your participation. I have enclosed the directions in the link provided below: http://pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/beautiful-blogger-award-nomination/

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