Have you ever wondered how to get gum off your skin? Honestly, I had never thought about that until I had a child. I’m sure my son and nephew will hate me later for sharing this….HOWEVER, it’s too funny to keep to myself! The following is a true story in the life of a mom, names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
Many years ago, when my son was three, we had just moved into our first house. My brother, Aaron, was in college and working full-time so he moved into our basement. He too has a son my sons age, and every other weekend( or when nephew’s mom had to work), my nephew stayed with us. One Saturday I needed to run to the store. My husband and my brother had both been working extra so I was watching the boys. They had been off the wall, and into everything all day. There was no way I was going to try to take the two of them to the store with me. My brother came home in the late afternoon; I let him know I needed to make the store run and would be right back. He was obviously tired from working all day and laid down on the couch. I warned him the boys had been quite the handful, and he should be on high alert while I’m gone.
I ran to the store and was back within 45 minutes. As I walked into the house I heard the howling of small children coming down the hall. I hollered that I was home; my brother popped his head out of the bathroom. His face was priceless. It was a mix between anger and helplessness. I couldn’t help but laugh, which was not appreciated by my brother.
Me: What in the heck is going on?
Aaron: I turned my back for one second and these little f#$kers got into the gum!!!
Me: WHAT? How did they get into the gum? It’s on top of the refrigerator.
Aaron: Well, I was on the couch………
Me: Oh dude, I told you to be on high alert, you fell asleep didn’t you??!!
Aaron: No! Well maybe I just closed my eyes for a minute…but they were playing in the play room!
Me: SUUUUURE….so how did they get the gum?
Aaron: These little guys are like covert secret agents. They pulled a kitchen chair to the counter, but they were too short. So they went and got all the pillows out of their rooms and stacked them on the chair, climbed on the counter, and then put the pillows on the counter to reach the top of the refrigerator.
Me: WOW, I’m actually impressed with their reasoning skills here….so why are they crying? And why do you have a scrubby pad in your hand?
Aaron: (a look of pure panic goes across his face) They chewed the gum.
Me: Ok so did they get it in their hair or on the carpet?
Aaron: No, after chewing the gum they took their pants off and wrapped the gum around their twig and berries.
Me: (uncontrollable laughter)
Aaron: (exacerbated face) Sister, this is not funny. I’ve been scrubbing and it’s not helping! I tried peanut butter and that sort of helped, but it’s still a pretty sticky situation!
Me: Brother, you are a dude! Would you scrub your own twig and berries with a scrubby pad?
Aaron: Sister, I would never have put gum on mine!
Me: Touche! Alright let’s get some rubbing alcohol and baby oil and get these boys clean.
LESSON IN LIFE 1280: Never nap with a couple three-year old’s running around the house, you might get a crash course in testicle gum removal!